my three fears

i have 3 legitimate fears in life. 

1. birds (ornithophobia)

2. raw meat

3. iguanas

laugh all you want, but this is real to me. 

birds are absolutely terrifying. especially pigeons, seagulls and crows. bleck. isn't it weird that they always do that thing where they fly as low to the ground as possible and swerve up to your head, only to miss it by about an inch? yeah, i think it's weird too.

i've thought about going vegetarian for a while, but i love red meat sometimes! it just can't be raw. at all. no pink. ever. even the smell gets me.

i don't even know where to start with iguanas. nasty nasty nasty. they have beady little eyes that stare deep down into the empty caverns of your soul.

sometimes, on a bad day, i can run into all three. those are the worst.

the other day, i saw two iguanas. it's not uncommon for puerto rico around this time of year. the difference here being that both of them were in my backyard, specifically in my pool.

not. cool. dude.

he was just chillin. in my pool! at 10 am! i can't get over this. 

how does he (let's just say that all iguanas are a "he") hold his breath that long?

can he swim?!

how can he live with the chlorinated wa-ter?!

WHY IS THERE AN IGUANA IN MY POOL?!?!

(as you can tell, i was very calm through the whole thing.)

luckily, my mom fished it out with the skimmer. yes, the skimmer. 

later that day, i heard rustling in the yard. 

so i looked over, and there was the blasted iguana!

he was just chillin'...on the WALL!!!

how in heavens name can an iguana hold it's fat body up with it's little arms?!

naturally, i took a picture.

you're lucky that i did it, though. it took just about all the guts that i could muster.

nasty...huh?

sick.

anyways, that's my story. i'm sure that none of you share my fear, but maybe my sharing it with you will help me to conquer it.